Creating Right Impression

One of life’s shocking jolt happens when you realize that not reality but, “Perception is everything!”  This maxim is often used as a nudge or warning to ensure that your perception is managed correctly with all the external signals aligned to create the right impression. In marketing, it is called branding and promotion, in politics, diplomacy, but the idea is to create a consistent image with a consistent message embedded in the mind. Managing Impression is crucial when confronting a new situation or a new phase or an activity like giving a job interview, being introduced to a group where you are an unknown entity, moving to a new company or a country, and the like.

When the target, a product, a situation, or a new person first appears on the scene, there are just a few seconds to create an impression, which then becomes the foundation for all other interpretations or perceptions about the target. That is why it is essential to get it right the first time. As another wise maxim warns, “There are no second chances for making a first impression.”

The observers’ interpretation, i.e., the impression or perception, depends on various things like the memory of an experience, familiarity with the observed target, learned stereotypes and biases, religious teachings, belief systems, and the dominant cultural environment and the innate personality of the perceiver. Thus everyone has a slightly different opinion about what they see. Still, based on most views, a pattern emerges to create a collective consciousness or a stereotype. And that stereotype model becomes the filter for interpretations.

The current leadership trainers and motivation speakers who emphasize authenticity and maxims like  ‘Failure is the first step to success”, “Progress, not perfection” may argue against this penchant for perfection. Still, there are a few situations like wars, diplomacy, market competition, product introductions, personal or professional reputations, where failure is not an option. One must manage perception well.  Although we have many examples of spectacular failures in business, politics, and famous people‘s lives, this article focuses on creating a positive impression in transition, whether a new job, new town or a new phase in life.

Strategies for Managing Perception

Conform

Look for the dominant culture’s cues:  For example, how do people dress? Casual, formal, or dressy casual? Do they dress for the occasion or have a generally relaxed attitude toward clothing?

An excellent example of a spectacular failure to make the right impression was an episode in the British production of the series titled The Crown when the newly elected prime minister Margaret Thatcher is invited to join in an annual Royal Hunting outing. From a different socio-economic background, Margaret chooses to dress very carefully to impress the Royalty in a well-tailored suit, proper stylish pumps, only to find the whole royal party dressed for hunting in comfortable casual hunting clothes and gear. It was an awkward and humiliating moment for her. 

A similar thing is likely to happen if someone goes for an interview or meeting from the east coast corporate environs of Brook Brothers’ suits, button-down shirt, tie and polished formal shoes with laces to the settings in the Silicon Valley of Zuckerberg style of dressing in Hoodies and casual jeans and the casual shoes. The point is that there is a not-so-secret dress code, usually taking its cues from the top person that filters downward that establishes a sense of the group and a sense of belonging, a norm that defines the feeling of “us.” It becomes the basis of trust or lack thereof.  We have all come across someone being described as the “Suit” to deride an executive in creative environs where the unspoken dress code is casual.

 In a society like America, where individuality is prized as the prime arbitrator and decision-maker of everything connected with self, complying with the dress code is still important because of its value as espirit de corps. The only exception that I know about is the former President and the CEO of PepsiCo, Indra Nooyi, who went for an interview to join a well-known business consulting company in Boston wearing a Sari to a job interview! And she got accepted! Perhaps her super-smart credentials from Yale School of Business Management overcame the cultural barrier, but that is an exception, not the norm. So when changing jobs or life situations, remember how to signal trustworthiness in the first few seconds through your dressing mode to suit the group’s standards. It is crucial when making the first impression. 

I wonder about the whole new set of challenges in creating a positive impression in the post-COVID-19, work from home, connected through the technology era! There are already hilarious snafus where technology revealed a lot more of the dress code confusion for the virtual environment’s office meeting. Even the recruiting interviews are now conducted on zoom or similar technologies, adding uncertainty about dressing for an interview. My suggestion is that the safe approach is to have a semi-formal layered approach to add or remove a layer to bring about “mirroring” the interviewer.  The new norms are still emerging! Mirroring is an important tactic, not just in dressing but in body language as well.

Be Self-Aware

Many of us do not know how our neighbors, our family members, our social circle, or our peers and superiors in the workplace perceive us. All of us are a product of our cultures and assume a few positive or negative things about ourselves and assume that others perceive us just how we think of ourselves and our behavior, as we do. As I mentioned earlier, the reality is that the impressions and interpretations could be very different, sometimes even quite contrary, because of the vast differences in the frame of reference and filters of the perceiver. For example, people see a nice person in a positive light in a social setting because they represent the social values that ascribe kindness, empathy, and grace. But the same values may be at odds in the competitive work environment, where getting the work done and results leave very little room for niceness in the face of competition. Niceness can be easily perceived as a weakness or a pushover by aggressive co-workers. This gap in understanding is what ruins careers and reputations and the potential success. It is a particularly challenging task to gauge the gap in a multicultural environment. As the American and global workplace embraces diversity in the workforce, cross-cultural understanding will become more necessary than ever.

Be mindful that in any environment, there are multiple layers of culture operating.  There is the national culture of the dominant social group, the culture of your origin, and a third culture, the corporate culture, which represents the key executive’s thinking. Whether in a social milieu or work environment, understanding the interplay and adapting is the only way to survive and thrive. Lack of this critical understanding can affect your performance review, mainly if your company engages in the 360-degree interview process, making the lack of self-awareness glaring. It is essential to be adaptive in your formal workplace behavior lest your peers interpret your “difference” and think of it as weird. A lousy label sticks, so avoid it with all your might.

Fitting In

Fitting in requires a tricky balancing act between your authentic self and the group’s norm. Your ethos and ethics, beliefs are the core of who you are. How much you are willing to adapt is a matter of personal discretion. But there are ways of avoiding offending someone by not being too transparent and making them feel as if you are somehow putting them down. For example, suppose you are a teetotaler or a vegan in a group for whom Friday night out is vital for camaraderie. In that case, it is okay to use a minor subterfuge like your being allergic to additives in wine or meat, etc. Unfortunately, people do take things personally when you refuse to join them, so to avoid ruffled feathers, it is a harmless way out. Call it diplomacy! Finding some common grounds is the entrance ticket to being accepted and trusted as a group or team member.

Don’t compromise on your standards. If you don’t like to pepper your language with four-letter words, you don’t have to compromise, even though lately I have read some articles that shows the person is honest and high on social integrity. Personally, it just indicates a shortage of useful vocabulary to express anger and frustration, which has no place in the work environment.

Managing Behavior

In the field or the workplace, you are always operating in a team environment. Any given day, you are competing and collaborating simultaneously, and this is where having a stellar reputation matters most. Maintaining a degree of decorum and decency is essential, throwing tantrums, demeaning others by belittling along the line of our ex-president calling his rival “Liddle Marco” or “Low energy Jeb”. In the end, it comes to haunt. As they say, you can’t throw mud at someone without getting your hands dirty. Personal diplomacy can take you much farther than pettiness. You want to establish a reputation that does not burn bridges.

Become Referable

Nothing stays constant forever, and change is an ongoing phenomenon. You want to be refer-able to open new doors and new opportunities. Most people like to help by giving references, but they need to have trust in you. Your total package, the dress, the behavior, and performance have to inspire enough confidence among your peers and contacts to recommend you and open doors for you. When they do, they are staking their credibility. Managing how you are perceived as the most critical task in charting your career path.